Her Dirty Little Secret
by artificiallysweet
Summary: Lilly's got a secret she never let go of. But the question is...will she? Featuring 3 little words she'll want to hear.
1. The Secret

DISCLAIMER: I don't own cold case, the characters, the storylines and whatnot. Wish i did though.

Everyone has a past. Some display theirs overtly, some don't, and try to run as far away from it as possible. These people would rather forget their past and carry on with their lives.

Everyone has secrets. That was the first lesson I learnt in this line of work. People can go their whole lives trying to deny whatever skeletons that lie in their closets. Until one day it all falls apart, the secret's out, and one way or another, their lives change forever.

I've got a past, it wasn't exactly the highlight of my life. It's part of who I am, and it's made me who I am today. I'm not ashamed, or in denial about it, but just like everyone else like me, I'd rather forget it.

I've got secrets. Many secrets. Many which feed into my past. Some I've lost and forgotten about along the way. And others I carry with me everyday of my life.

Every single one of us in this tight-knit homicide squad has a story or two to tell. Lieutenant with his daughter, Will's wife, Nick's family and Scotty's search for the truth about what really happened to Alyssa.

When someone asks me; 'tell us something we don't know about you', I roll my eyes and tell them; 'where do I start?' I could choose from almost a million things.

But when they say 'what's something you've never told anyone else,' there's only one thing that stays in the back of my mind. So I tell them. 'I'm married.'


	2. His Name Is

And before the thought even crosses your mind; it's sure as hell isn't Patrick. It'd have to be so naive to believe all that 'it'll never happen again, I swear, I promise on my life' crap. Just the sound of his name makes me shudder. I pity the next poor woman who somehow manages to fall for that waste of space.

His name is Michael, Mike for short. I was just about 2 years out of high-school when I met him. He worked at the local deli part time while doing his psychology degree in college. We'd spend hours on end just talking and laughing. There was an instant attraction, not only physically, but mentally. He was a stable man, smart, caring, kind, thoughtful, and basically everything Patrick wasn't. There was a connection between us. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could completely trust someone and know they wouldn't just throw it back in my face.

We'd been serious for about a year and a half when he took me to a place just off the coast for a weekend. He'd told me about this place that his parents used to take him and his sister all the time during the summer school holidays when he was a kid. They'd go camping, swim in the small rock pools, build huge sandcastles on the beach and fish while they watched the sunrises and sunsets. To me, it sounded like heaven, and best of all, it was away from my Mom and teenage wreck of a sister.

That Saturday night when we were laying beneath the stars, cuddled up beside the warmth of the fire, he'd told me how much he loved me and he loved everything about me and that I was the bright stars in his night sky. That's when he pulled out the most beautiful sparkling diamond I'd seen in my entire life, and asked me to marry him. Almost immediately I said yes. It was perfect, he was perfect. And for the first time in my life, I felt completely safe. When I was with Mike, I felt like nothing could hurt me. Not anything, not anyone.


	3. Deja Vu

Like I said, things were good. Life was perfect. Mike was the closest thing to a miracle. The wedding reception wasn't anything too elaborate, but we liked it. A small outdoor get together. A small selection of family and friends from both our families. Even Christina and Mom had made it there, surprisingly sober. At first I though I was dreaming, but she actually was sober. Mike and I never stayed at the reception that long to find out whether or not she'd noticed the caterers doing the rounds. Thank god.

The next day we left for out Honeymoon. A week on some Island Resort just off the coast of somewhere on the East Coast. The exact place, I couldn't be bothered to remember. We would have stayed longer, but with just getting into the Force and everything, I didn't think it'd be the best idea. Plus, I always imagined there'd always be time for a romantic getaway once every so often.

So anyway, a week later, we, reluctantly, got back into Philly. I started my new job, with maybe a little too much enthusiasm than necessary, and Mike went back to his.

Six months came and went and everyday surpassed the last. Even after a particularly crappy day on the beat.

Until one day I come home to find Mike and none other then my ever-so-moral sister in a rather compromising position on the bed. My world crashed in the very spot I stood. It was one thing to be cheated. But quite another to find the one man you trusted with your life in YOUR bed and in the very same sheets as you yourself became a prisoner of his touch earlier on in the morning, making love to another woman. Not just any other woman. But your sister.

Déjà Vu, as I'd find out only a few years later. You think I'd know better than to completely trust another man, learn from experience. Experience? Hardly. More like a cover up for a rather foolish mistake.

As you would imagine, things went downhill from the minute I slammed the apartment door behind me. Of course, Mike came after me begging forgiveness. Until I threatened to shoot him in the middle of the street. I swear I would have too, if I could have gotten away with an insanity plea.


	4. The Day After

Hours passed since that night in the bar when I drunkenly told my 'family' I am in fact, married. And have been for quite a number of countless years. After I let 'it' slip, I don't think anyone knew what to say. Not that I expected or wanted them to say anything. In retrospect, I'm glad they didn't. I would have had a hell of a lot of explaining to do. I didn't stay too long after that, a couple of glasses of scotch later and I was more than willing to leave, go crawl in a hole, and never come out.

The questions came the day after, convenient, seeing as I was nursing one hell of a hangover. Wasn't my greatest idea to get trashed, in hope I'd forget the previous night in it's enirity. Subconsciously, I knew it wouldn't work. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The two Advil I'd taken a few hours before were doing nothing, so I wasn't really in an argumentative mood, so I answered the questions as quickly and directly as I could. Of course, I was hesitant to tell them he was just another man in my life Christina had managed to sink her nails into. I don't think I'll ever meet a woman who's happy and willing to tell you she lost her man to her slut of a sister. She's got one hell of a track record for that. Yes, very loyal.

Scotty and Vera primarily asked the questions. No surprises there. I don't think I'll ever understand their fascination with my private life. It's almost as if they expect me get all 'dolled' up, strap on a pair of Jimmy Choos' and head off for some sexy rendezvous with some middle-aged high powered business executive after hours. Maybe I should just tell them that one day just to see the looks on their face. I'll make a mental note to bring my camera in that day.

The interrogation the guys gave me was rather painless. Until they asked 'So, you're divorced? Or what?' Truth is, I'm technically still married. Or 'legally bound in by tightropes' as I like to call it. Part of the reason I never ended up going through with Patrick. The 'you slept with my sister' routine seemed a lot more plausible, not to mention an easier way out.

Mike and I tried to make it work, on a few occasions. I found I couldn't even have him touching me the slightest without feeling morally repulsed. Just his hand on mine made me nauseous, God forbid the effect of something more intimate. In the end, I persuaded him to buy out my share of the apartment, and I moved into my own. Taking everything rightfully mine along the way, including my cats and his fish. I let him keep the bed. I probably would have scorched the damn thing. Or shot it into smitherines. Either way, I would have had to buy a new one.

We rarely keep in contact. He still lives in Philly, I know that for a fact. The last time we saw each other was a rather awkward run-in at the local supermarket 3 months ago, right after Ray had rode back out of my life, again. A bunch of even more awkward small-talk and uncomfortable silences, and I was out of there as fast you can say 'I gotta go'.


	5. Sarah Cumberland

She'd been mulling over it for days now. Over and over and over again, it replayed in her head. Like a broken record that just wouldn't shut the hell up.

Two days ago, she mustered up the courage to go see an old friend. Sarah.

Like she and Lindsay, they went to school together. Once upon a lifetime.

Sarah came from money, and lots of it. Born and raised in Texas, her family moved to Philly her junior year.

She was you're typical rich kid, crossing over to the wrong side of the tracks, just to spite her parents.

Rebelled like there was no tomorrow. Brought herself a 1971 Corvette in her senior year, immaculate condition. Took her two months to save up her weekly allowance to pay for it. And the parentals didn't like it one bit.

Ended up going to law school. Only reason being the parents were paying for it, and the added bonus of it being across the other side of the country. Reason enough.

Sarah was now, according to her circle of friends, Philly's finest (in more ways than one) divorce lawyer. And an all around bitch to anyone smart enough to give her lip.

She'd always argued the two went hand in hand.

"Lilly! Long time no see. How ya been?"

Lilly smiled back, she hadn't heard that Southern drawl in so long. She must admit, she'd missed Sarah's company.

"I'm getting there, you know how it is. What about you? You been good?"

"You know me Lils. Never……So, what can I do for you?"

"I, uh, I need a small favor."

() ()

_**The Present Day**_

Lilly was sitting at her desk, quite innocently, and without notice, a cold pair of hands wrapped themselves around her eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Uhm," Lilly considered, tilting her head slightly to one side, "a grown woman of 37 acting 10 years old?"

The hands released themselves and the body perched itself on top of her desk.

"Ouch! And it's 33 thank you very much."

"Do you mind? Your ass is on my case-files?"

"They don't seem to be complaining."

"Hey Lil," A voice wandered over from the other side of the bullpen, "you done with the Matthews' file?"

"Yeah," She replied, searching over her desk for the file in question. "Sarah, I need the file you're sitting on."

"Just keepin' it warm for ya Lils." She teased, fishing it out from underneath her.

"Funny."

"I know. Right, so which one of you fine specimens wanted this Matthews' file?" Sarah announced. If she hadn't already gained the attention of the entire floor, she sure as hell had it now.

"Uh, over here."

Her eyes fell on the desk across from Lilly's. "Oh, you gotta be Valens."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't think I don't know about your little, 'antics', with Christina." She replied throwing the file down on his desk.

Scotty shot a glance from Sarah to Lilly, who just shrugged, before he turned his attention back to the woman standing infront of him.

"Hey, a girls' gotta vent. And since Ray hasn't been around in a while."

"Hey!"

"Who's Ray?" Vera asked.

"Lil's motorcycle ridin' boy toy." Sarah replied, nonchantly waving it off before resuming her spot on Lil's desk.

"Sarah!"

"What? Don't gimme that look. I come bearing gifts, buttercup."

Sarah reached into her briefcase, pulled out a large envelope, and held it out of Lilly's reach.

"You sure you're sure about this one?"

"Positive."

Sighing, Sarah handed over the package. "You better be."

"Thank-you."

"Anytime. And, I also got you this."

Lilly took the piece of paper from her friends' extended arm. "I, Sarah Cumberland, hereby award you a one-way ticket to … … 'Raysville'. Very funny."

Lilly looked on in disbelief as her friend started to leave, a smug grin firmly plastered over her features. "I hear it's hot and steamy this time of year."

o-O

Lol, thanx for reading guys, reviews are appreciated.

Lee.


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